Life as usual...

Okay, so it’s been a few days since I posted a blog entry. I guess I’ll write one up just for “shits and grins”… I’m not sure what I’m going to write about so I guess I’ll just write and see what comes out. I suppose I probably have a few things that I want to say.

The ED issue. Well, I finally received the generic Viagra that I ordered a few weeks ago. This is a good thing. I was a bit worried that it might have been a scam (reading information provided by Pfizer on their official Viagra site makes it sound like any and all generic Viagra being sold on the Internet is nothing but a scam) however conducted an experiment a couple days ago that ended up rather well. This stuff actually works! I called over an escort (German woman, her name was Julia) and had no troubles whatsoever in the ED area. I’m actually not exactly sure what I should think about this – should I be happy or sad that I now need to take a pill in order to be of any use to a woman? I’m going to go with “happy”. At least I now have some guarantee that I can get around my little problem and, since all of my sexual experiences of late are easily scheduled, the use of these pills is not much of an issue. I just need to take one about an hour before having sex.

I’m actually pretty sure that I wouldn’t need these pills if I were somehow able to do the impossible and find myself a girlfriend of my own. Last night – after our German class – I had Jon and Julie over to my apartment to watch some TV. Julie (who, by the way, is a wonderful person) even mentioned that what I need is a girlfriend. I couldn’t agree more with you, Julie. That, after all, is actually what I am looking for. In fact, it’s primarily why I am so easily taken advantage of by the type of people that I’ve been associating with lately. I think they smell the “want” on me and this basically gives them the green light to play with my desires and manipulate me into doing stupid things. I’ve been doing my best at keeping these meetings on a “nothing more than fun” basis and I think I’m getting better at that; however this deep desire I have to actually be loved is not an easy thing to ignore… I need to spend more time with Julie…

If any of you are wondering what happened to Anna (the girl from Club Love in Athens…) all I can say is we’ve lost contact with each other. I’m not surprised by this, but I’m actually not that distraught either. I mean yeah, Anna seemed like a very nice person; but the logistics involved in us becoming more than just acquaintances are a bit complicated. Not to mention that I only knew the girl for two days. Yeah, I’m pretty sure that what we had there was little more than lust. Anna was fun (and we never even had sex…) although I’m thinking that the fun there was no more than fantasy. She was, after all, a Russian living in Greece. I’m an American living in Germany. Why I ever even thought that there was a possibility there seems absurd. But that’s me, the “hopeless romantic”… What I need to do is focus more on what might be good for me in reality…

Of course this kind of brings up this next weekend where I’ll be flying down to Zürich to spend a Saturday night with Surunna. (You remember Surunna, the girl I met on that Sunday in Zürich, right?) She is a bit different in that I have absolutely no misunderstandings about what this trip is – it’s a night that I am purchasing with an escort (otherwise known as a prostitute) to have some fun. Surunna is a lot of fun but that’s all. I have no false desire to make her my girlfriend. We’re just going to get together and have some fun together – nothing wrong with that…

Oops … please disregard that last paragraph. I just received an SMS from Surunna – I guess I’m not going to Zürich this weekend… Oh well, that’s all for the better anyway … I really don’t need to be spending 1000 Swiss Francs for something that’s just going to make me feel emptier inside. I was hoping to start dealing more with my “real” life anyway and this basically gives me one more weekend for that…

So I now have a free weekend coming up. What should I do? What I would like to do is spend some time with Julie. I really do like Julie and an added bonus with her is that she is American! I really don’t think she’s the least bit attracted to me in any romantic way, but that’s cool. I completely understand that… Still, as far as people that I might be able to hang out with over here in Germany, Julie is easily at the top of my list. Heck, she could help me out with my German a bit as she seams to understand it much better than I ever will…

Ah, but that’s crazy talk. I really shouldn’t be getting my hopes up – nothing this good ever happens to me. I’m sure I’ll be wasting away the time this weekend by myself… Who knows? Maybe I’ll write up a couple blog submissions although I think I’m running out of stuff to talk about… The only trips I currently have planned are to Amsterdam on the 2nd of December and then a two week return back to the states on December 22nd. This whole “traveling by myself” thing is proving to be quite dangerous anyway… I suppose it’s probably about time to get back to my “life as usual” and revert back to my old boring self once again…

Oh well, I guess that’s all I have to say for now.

bis später,

Coriolis