Julie

Well, so far today’s been a rough day… The bus that I like to catch to work in the morning was actually on time today. I suppose that’s a good thing; however it has never been less than 5 minutes late every other time I took it and I actually arrived at the stop today just in time to watch the bus leave – without me on it, of course… What this meant was that I was then given the opportunity to walk to work. No big deal – lord knows I can use the exercise – it’s just that long walks are things I need to avoid when I’m in one of my “deep blue funks”. And “deep blue funks” seem to be commonplace with me lately…

Why am I in a “deep blue funk”? Several reasons… First, I got another credit card statement forwarded to me from back home that had a nice little surprise in it – a $4333.30 surprise! You see this is just one more addition I get to make to the amount of money I “spent” on that Friday night in Athens that I don’t ever remember. It’s now looking like I got taken that night for somewhere in the neighborhood of $8000! I remember very little of that night and what I do remember wasn’t very fun. Apparently though, I paid a shitload of money to not have fun that night. I’m contesting these charges, but we all know what that’s going to accomplish – nothing…

As I mentioned earlier, the trip to Zürich that I was planning on taking this weekend has been cancelled. That kind of sucks; however I suppose it’s all for the better. I won’t be dropping 1000 Swiss Francs this weekend, but I also won’t be spending the night with Surunna. I was actually looking forward to that part, although I really must be realistic here – I’m sure that something would have gone wrong (it’s just the way it is with me) and I am most likely just avoiding more hassles that I really don’t need to be dealing with. So I’m out the non-refundable airline tickets but was able to cancel the hotel reservation. Once again, money spent for nothing…

Of course the main reason that I’m a bit down as of late is nobody’s fault but my own. I, once again, have been stupid enough to think that I actually had a chance with a “real” woman. This time it was Julie. I really don’t know what I was thinking here – Julie is less than half my age. I was trying to convince myself that she might actually like me for who I am (I had no illusions, whatsoever, that she would be physically attracted to me) and that the age difference wouldn’t be an issue – silly, huh? I need to clarify something: I responded to an earlier comment stating that I thought Julie didn’t like me. Let me take that back. I do think that she likes me; however not in the way that I was hoping. I think that she sees me as an “interesting” guy – interesting as more of a psychological case study. You see, Julie is a very smart girl (valedictorian if I am not mistaken) and my openness about my life (as well as what I am being open about) intrigues her in a way.

What I need to do is shut down any romantic feelings that I have for Julie and just enjoy what little time I get to spend with her. Of course she’ll probably be reading this so I might just be destroying any chances of spending time with her at all. (Oh my god, I sound like I’m back in high school again … I guess some things never change…) I’m just hoping that Julie understands that I am, in no way, trying to seduce her (HA! Now there’s something that’s completely beyond my abilities…) or take advantage of her in any way – I would never do that. I really could just use a friend while I’m over here in Germany…

Well, I was planning on writing up another detailed description of one of my life adventures but I really need to get back to my work now. I’m apparently loosing a cell instance by the name of “U64ASTTSINST26897” somewhere between initial cell placement and global route (probably getting removed somewhere in CTS…) and my hierarchy preservation is therefore crapping out. Fun, fun, fun…

bis später,

Coriolis