I headed back to Amsterdam over the weekend. Unlike my previous trips (Trip 1 [A][B][C][D], Trip 2 [A][B][C], Trip 3 [A][B][C]), I decided not to visit with any prostitutes. You read that right – I did not purchase any sex. I was most definitely planning to – even brought the Viagra with me – but the way things turned out, I didn’t… I’ve come to realize that sex for the sake of sex just isn’t much fun (at least not for me, anymore) and actually paying somebody for the opportunity to not have any fun with them is asinine.Not to mention that the whole “red light district” scene is getting old. Yeah, it was interesting when it was all new to me; however I’ve now spent many many hours in Amsterdam’s red light district and can now see what it really is – completely from first-hand experience, mind you... The best way that I can describe it would be to call it an adult-oriented Disney Land. There are plenty shows to see (sex shows, mainly), rides to ride (prostitutes) and foods to eat. The thing is that Disney Land even stops being fun if you go there too often.
So what, you might be wondering, was I doing in Amsterdam then? Well, that’s a darn good question. I really don’t know… I was pretty much there because “that’s where I go” every month or so. As I’m sure I’ve already mentioned, this “traveling by myself” thing isn’t working very well for me – I usually end up wasting way too much money and have little to no actual fun. I always figured that Amsterdam was the exception in that it was a place that I could pretty much guarantee myself some fun whether I’m traveling with someone or, as is usually the case, alone. I’m now beginning to wonder if I can even remember what “fun” is…
I did create a video while I was there. It’s nothing fancy or anything – just me chatting with myself and the camera whilst sitting in my hotel room a couple hours after eating a box of Philosopher Stones (a.k.a. Truffles – a shroom variety). Maybe I’ll post this thing somewhere and share it with you – with today’s technology it shouldn’t be too hard – however I really don’t know how interested people would be in seeing it. I mean, to sum it up, it’s really nothing more than me beating myself up about being the loser that I am.
Here it is:
So I guess that’s why I was in Amsterdam over the weekend – to make a video of myself emotionally beating myself up. That can’t be healthy… I don’t know – have I lost the ability to enjoy life? It seems to me that I’ve run out of things to look forward to. I’m looking forward to heading home for the holidays but then what? I’ll be returning back to Germany to finish my work and after the contract’s done heading back to Colorado to resume my “life as normal”… My life has turned into nothing more than an endless series of nothing. I exist for the sure purpose of existing…
Oh well, I really don’t have much else to say right now. Maybe I’ll head home this evening and start working on converting the video into a format that’s easier to post. Yeah … at least that’ll give me something to do… now done...
bis später,
Coriolis
Nothing worse than Tripping your balls off and being depressed!!!!!!!!T-cam
ReplyDeleteYou said it! I do NOT recommend it...
ReplyDeleteI am really worried about you Glenn, I know how lonely you must feel but you have to view your life at a different angle. Change your everyday activities and surround yourself with fun and forfilling things to do besides drinking,doing drugs and feeling sorry for yourself. It is not that hard, make a list for yourself and wright down things you enjoy doing such as bike riding, walking singing, yoga, what ever, buy a coloring book and color, do anything but what you are doing at this very moment. Your life is very important. Do not treat your self bad. You are a hard worker who worked very hard to get to where you are today and do not forget it. True love will come your way again, you just have to find the right path to walk along, you will not find true love threw escorts and what have you so remember to appreciate what you have and know that you can make better choices for yourself in the future!!!! Lots of luck to you over the holiday vacation. from one of your class mates from melvindale high Sherry G.
ReplyDeleteHey Sherry, how's life?
ReplyDeleteYeah, you're right. I need to really start doing more productive (or at least less destructive) activities in my free time. Of course living here in Germany is making that a bit more difficult than I would have thought. The language barrier makes standard socializing difficult. It'll be interesting to return back to the states and once again be able to clearly communicate with strangers...
However, I have decided to change my ways a bit. I'm trying to take on a more positive outlook on life but I know it's going to be tough. I can do it though! I just need to stop being such a whiney, self hating wimp and realize that I have accomplished quite a bit in my life. I need to focus more on the positives and let the negatives vanish from my mind...
Hi Glenn, I am so glad that you decided to choose a more positive way of looking at things. You hold the key to your destination.I believe that 2007 is the year for come-backs, I feel that not only am I going to make drastic changes in my life I feel that alot of people are going to be doing the same........How do I know you ask? I am psycic Sherry who owns a crystal ball hahahhahah only kidding have a great holiday and I am glad you will be back in the states visiting your parents wait until you see all the new stores that have been built it is really nice. Have fun talk to you later Sherry
ReplyDeleteYeah, 2007 will be the year! (maybe…) ;-)
ReplyDeleteHi Glenn, Have you ever thought of getting full body massage on a regular basis? That helps both your physical body and your mind at the same time. It is really stimulating and it makes you feel good inside again, you should do that to help ease your over worked brain. Smart people need a rub down too!!(in a non-sexual way). Sherry
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice, however I really don’t think that full body massages are the answer to anything … but that’s just me. I’ve been told by several people that I really should look into massages for a little stress relief, but I personally don’t get it. I’ve had massages on several occasions – I really don’t see what the big deal is…
ReplyDelete