The Girl in the Baseball Cap

I went on my third trip to Amsterdam over the last weekend. It was the same deal as the last two trips – leave Braunschweig at 9:51am on Saturday and return back to Braunschweig somewhere between 8:00 – 9:00pm the next day … one more night in Amsterdam.

It’s funny how when you think that you’ve got “it” all figured out and you’ve come up with a rather detailed plan of how things are going to go that “it” usually ends up being something completely different… That describes the last weekend I had in Amsterdam pretty well. I was actually thinking that this trip would be pretty simple and that it wouldn’t even be interesting enough to actually write up in my blog. I was wrong … so very wrong…

Okay, so here was my plan: I was thinking that I would head on over to Amsterdam (skipping the trip to Paris the weekend before was a good move and I was able to get myself a bit more rested) and visit, once again, with the girl in the baseball cap. (By the way, her name is Sarah…) That was pretty much my entire agenda. I figured I’d fill in the rest of the 24 hours or so with a bit of sleep and a lot of hanging out in the coffee shops. It was simple and – comparative to my last couple trips – inexpensive. I also planned on trying to do something about this little issue I’ve been having with ED lately and, since the generic Viagra that I ordered online hasn’t arrived yet, decided to check out one of the ‘smart shops’ in Amsterdam. These places sold various sexual stimulants (I think it’s mostly herbal stuff and I was a bit skeptical on how well anything would work) so I figured I was game to try. That was the plan…

When I arrived at Amsterdam Centraal Station I started putting the plan into motion. The first thing I needed to do was to check into my room at the Dam Hotel. I knew where this hotel was located as I had seen it many times on my past couple of trips. The thing that I didn’t know was that this hotel was a bit strange. For one thing, there is absolutely no lobby for this hotel – none. There’s a restaurant at the bottom of the hotel and a money exchange window next to the restaurant. There is no door that is clearly marked as the entrance to this hotel! I was baffled … how the hell does one check-in to this hotel? I decided to ask a waiter working in the restaurant and was told that I checked in at the money exchange window and then either took the stairs up from behind there or the ‘lift’ that was located in the back of this restaurant. Oh, okay … I then waited in the line at the money exchanging window to check in…

After waiting what seemed like an unusually long amount of time for the guy in front of me to exchange whatever version of money he was carrying for Euros, I then asked to check-in to my room. I gave them the printout of my reservation as well as my American Express card to pay the €65. The card was rejected. I then passed them my Chase Mastercard but that card was also rejected. The third card I unsuccessfully tried was my Wells Fargo Visa Debit Card – rejected. Hmm, it’s only €65 – what’s going on? I’m still not sure why I’m having this issue with my credit cards – perhaps it’s all related back to my Athens trip – although I had some money on me and was forced to use €65 of it to pay for my room. I left the window, walked through the restaurant and took the ‘lift’ (very small lift, by the way…) up to my room. I dropped off the computer case I had (no computer, it’s just an easy way to carry the change of clothing and essentials needed for a one night stay) and headed on out. I was heading to the Art and Smart Shop that I discovered on my last trip. It was close by and I figured that they might have some sexual stimulants…

I walked into the shop and asked the nice young lady behind the counter whether they carried anything close to Viagra there. I was actually sold these pills that were called “Libido” – 10 pills, €50. Along with the Libido pills I also picked up a box of Mexicana shrooms and a cheap (€5) pipe. I then returned back to my hotel room. I think it was somewhere around 3:45pm…

In the room I read the instructions for the Libido pills and it said that you are supposed to take one or two at least an hour before the ‘action’. It also said that these pills should not be taken by people with high blood pressure. Unfortunately, I am one of those people. I was actually taking Lisinopril on a regular basis prior to moving out to Germany. The thing is that I was not able to successfully schedule an appointment with my regular doctor before flying over here so the prescription I had ran out just prior to my trip. Oh well, my blood pressure wasn’t exceptionally high and I have been doing a lot of walking over here in Europe. Heck, I’ve apparently been losing some weight as I have recently been having an issue with keeping my pants up while I’ve been walking. I’m wearing my belt at its tightest notch and the pants still want to continuously creep ever lower and lower… I’m thinking that my blood pressure may have lowered a bit since I’ve been over here but who really knows if that’s true…? It really didn’t matter though as I was going to at least try out these damn pills…

However it was quite early. I figured I’d take a couple pills with me and head on over to where Sarah (the girl in the baseball cap) was found a month ago. If she was there I would set up a time (at least one hour away) and come back to be with her. That was my plan and it never even occurred to me that she might not be there…

So I stock up on a couple pills, leave the shrooms in my room and grab the cheap pipe before heading out. It was time to find the girl in the baseball cap. Walking to the room that I found her in the month before was actually very easy. Amazingly enough I had no problem remembering where she was. I was a bit dismayed when I arrived there to find a different girl in the room. Oh no, where’s the girl in the baseball cap?

Oh well, I figured I’d ask the girl that was currently in the room – I didn’t have any recollection of ever meeting her before, but I suppose it’s possible that she was the girl in the baseball cap considering I was actually on shrooms the last time I met her. But she was a blonde and I was pretty darn certain that the girl in the baseball cap was a brunette. Could I possibly have been that screwed up last time? Well, let’s find out…

So I walk over to the room to have a chat with this blonde girl. She opens the door and asks me to come in. I then asked her if she was the girl that I met last month and mentioned that the girl that I am speaking of was wearing a white baseball cap. She suspected that I was speaking of the girl that’s in that room on the night shift. Right! I mean, what was I thinking? It was pretty late last month when I met the girl in the baseball cap so why was I expecting her to be there at about 4:00pm? Those would be some pretty rough hours to work… I then asked the blonde girl what time the other girl started and was told 8:00pm. Okay, now this is making sense. Not only that but it also gave me a plan. After thanking the cute blonde for the information and giving her a goodbye kiss on the check, I decided that I would head on over to a coffee house and waste away some time. At 7:00 I would then take one of the Libido pills and head back to visit with the girl in the baseball cap.

Oh yeah, Jon was also in Amsterdam over the weekend. He and his new squeeze, Veronica had arrived on Friday and where scheduled to be taking the same train as me back on Sunday. I sent a couple SMS messages to him on my arrival but had not received any reply. This really has nothing to do with the story but I just thought I would mention it. I was actually planning on perhaps meeting up with them and we could all hang out at a coffee shop, but this never happened. Now that I had four hours to kill, I once again attempted to contact Jon but once again received no response. Oh well, that’s cool … I can always hang out at a coffee shop by myself – you can usually meet some interesting people there…

After leaving the cute little blonde, I then started heading back toward a couple coffee shops that I knew of that usually seemed like decent places to hang out. I would first walk past the Stone’s Café (there are actually several Stone’s Cafés in Amsterdam, the one I’m talking about is actually located on this corner up near Coffee Shop 36) and then head on up to Coffee Shop 36 if it was too crowded. I actually stopped off at The Bull Dog (claims to be the original Amsterdam coffee shop) on the way and purchased myself some hash and weed. I didn’t stay there and opted to take my purchases with me up to Coffee Shop 36 (the Stone’s Café was a bit crowded). I took a seat by the windows and lit up a bowl…

I met a real nice couple there – John and Daniela. John was from England and Daniela was from Chili. They apparently met on some match making site on the Internet. I’m not sure how long they had been together, but they seemed to be getting along rather well. Maybe I should join one of these sites – it’s got to have a higher probability of success compared to what I have been doing… I don’t know though – it just seems to me that computer dating services are ‘cheating’. I’ve always been told that meeting the girl of your dreams always happens when least expected. To me, that seems to be a bunch of crap because I haven’t been expecting to meet her for quite a few years now and so far my expectations have been solid…

After a while John and Daniela left and slowly enough 7:00 arrived. This was when I took the first Libido pill and started looking forward to the trip back to the girl in the baseball cap. It was close to 7:20 when I headed out…

The walk back was much quicker than I expected and it was somewhere around 7:30 when I, once again, arrived back at the location where I had met the girl in the baseball cap the month before. The curtains of the target window were closed and it appeared like nobody was even there (there was no light inside). It was here that I heard some guy say, “He knows what he wants. Come back in 20 minutes.” Was he talking to me? Perhaps this was the girl in the baseball cap’s pimp? Whoever he was, he seemed to have decent advice and I was actually planning on following it…

Now this was interesting… As I was basically hanging around there waiting for the girl in the baseball cap to arrive, I noticed that I was not the only guy doing this. Apparently many of these girls have a few fans that know their schedules and show up early in an effort to be the first customer of the night. There weren’t many, maybe three or four; however I now realized that I was apparently a member of this crowd. Now there’s a club that I’m not very happy about being a member of…

The thing is that there was at least one other guy that might have been waiting for the girl in the baseball cap. He was basically hanging out near her window and trying to appear like he wasn’t – you know, he would take several short walks but always return… I decided to not even attempt to play it off like I wasn’t waiting and stood directly across from Sarah’s window and looked directly at it. Pretty much anybody and everybody knew why I was there. At about 10 to 8:00, Sarah (the girl in the baseball cap) arrived – sans cap this time. Unfortunately she arrived with this older guy (looked to be in his 40’s or 50’s) and headed straight into her room. Oh well, I guess my efforts still didn’t guarantee me first rounds, but I sure as hell tried… I decided to take the second Libido pill at this time and remained there – standing in front of Sarah’s window … I figured this guy wouldn’t take too long…

I was probably standing there for about 20 minutes or so when Sarah popped her head out between the two curtains and saw me standing across the narrow alley staring at her window. She smiled at me, waved and gave me the universal hand gesture of the number two (you know, hand raised with the index and middle finger extended). I guess I was to be the second customer. That’s cool, she seemed to actually be happy to see me – of course at this time I didn’t even know if she remembered me but the smile and wave seemed to be good signs…

Another 20 minutes or so and customer #1 was done. I saw him leave the room which was shortly followed by Sarah standing in her doorway and signaling for me to come in. I headed across the alley and entered the room with Sarah.

She actually did remember me from the month before. That was cool… I figured that this might be a nice time – I had taken two of the anti-ED pills and Sarah even remembered who I was. What could go wrong now…?

*** WARNING *** WARNING *** Okay, so here we are again. I need to warn you that this post will most definitely contain material not suited for non-adults as well as adults that can’t handle sexual conversations. If you are either of those, please stop reading now.

This time I give Sarah €150. If you remember, I gave her €100 (with a €10 tip afterwards) a month ago and she responded enthusiastically to the fact that I wasn’t trying to low-ball (no pun intended) her. I enjoyed myself last time and had no problem giving her a bit more on this trip. The way I figure it, if someone is deserving of a bit more than I’m more than happy to pay it. That was it, the money was done with and it was time to have a little fun. I’m sorry to say that that was exactly what we had – a “little” fun…

You see, I’m now pretty sure that all of my ED issues are purely in my head – the one on my shoulders… I guess that I just over analyze the situation which ends up being a very bad habit as the energy I am apparently wasting while thinking about what I am doing is draining the energy required to actually do what I am doing. Either that or the incredibly easy access to porn on the Internet has actually made me immune to standard sexual stimuli. Yeah, I’ll bet you it’s the latter of those two… Either way it was a bit over an hour after we started that Sarah started to get frustrated. I could tell that she had a bit of an issue in doing it, but she needed to ask me to leave – unfulfilled. I understood; after all this was her job. She actually let me stay there and try for 20 minutes longer than I had paid (I guess the standard pricing is €50 for 15 minute blocks – I pretty much knew this but you’re never going to see it written down anywhere…) and whether I would ever cum was basically an unanswerable question. My time with Sarah – the girl in the baseball cap – a meeting that I had been looking forward to for a month – ended with frustration. What the hell is wrong with me!?

I just don’t get it. I like Sarah. She’s a very nice person and she’s beautiful to boot. Here I am, though, a worthless slab of meat that is trying to pass himself off as a man; but I’m not a man. No, as far as women are concerned, I’m as useless as they come; and the sad fact of the matter is that they are right. What good am I if I can’t even perform with a real woman? It’s fucking pathetic (pun completely intended…).

The worst part about all this is that Sarah seemed to get upset about this. You remember how I was asking why the prostitutes were getting upset when I was unable to perform, right? Well, I think I’ve figured that out. You see Sarah told me that I was unique – unique in a bad way though… She said that I was the only (I need to emphasize that a bit – the ONLY) guy that she ever met that wasn’t able to cum – and she’s a prostitute! What’s that say about me? I’ll tell you what that says – it says that I need to figure out what’s wrong with me and soon … I’ve got a date in a couple of weeks down in Zürich where I better damn well perform! I think I’m going to have to lay off the sex for a bit. Maybe my problem has something to do with the fact that I’m having too much sex. I don’t know … why do I have such an insatiable sex drive if I can’t even perform? Life sure can be cruel at times…

Anyway, that’s how it ended with Sarah – we stopped having fun (well, I actually doubt either of us was having too much fun at that time), got dressed and I then left apologizing to Sarah and assuring her that my stupid problem in no way should be seen as an insult to her. Something tells me that I might not be greeted with a smile and a wave next time…

So there I was at about 9:30pm. The main reason I made this trip ended up being a disaster and I was feeling like a complete failure. It was Amsterdam though and I am a complete dumb ass. I was going to vindicate myself! There are plenty other girls available and I was determined to “be a man”. What I ended up being was most definitely not a man although you are going to have to wait for the rest of this story. I’ll post it shortly, but I’m done writing for the day.

bis später,

Coriolis