Call me naïve if you want, but I’m of the opinion that we, as a society, really need to once again start focusing a bit more on adherence to what is appearing to be a now long-lost characteristic – fidelity. And it’s not because I’m jaded due to any recent betrayal or anything – heck, I haven’t been in a position where this situation is even a possibility for so long that to even presume that would be silly – it’s more of an emphatic request to those that are in a position where cheating is an option to have some self control. Nothing good ever comes from betraying somebody that you are supposed to be loving. People get hurt, lives often get ruined or severely screwed up and all because some dumb-ass decided to throw away loyalty to satisfy lust. It’s stupid…I’ll be the first to admit that my appeal is being put forward out of pure, unadulterated selfishness. I honestly believe that greater adherence to fidelity would be a big plus for people like me. Not only would it bring personal values back into the mating selection process but it would weed out all the douche bags (and believe me, in today’s society, there are a lot of douche bags) that don’t even try to hide the fact that they’ll fuck anyone they want regardless of situation. Sadly though, these days it seems that being a douche bag is seen as a plus for many. It’s like willingness to be faithful is a sign of weakness. This I do not understand…
Don’t get me wrong now … I completely understand the desire to be with an attractive mate; however I was under the impression that human beings were supposed to be intelligent. Aren’t we able to separate ourselves from the primitive urges that have always existed as a method to guarantee the survival of the species? I’m pretty sure that we really needn’t worry about whether or not enough people are reproducing in order to keep our species around – that game was won long ago… Shouldn’t we be a bit more concerned with the newer game of making this life as pleasurable as possible? I think so. I also think that the damage done on the “big picture” through infidelity far outweighs any pleasure obtained. Life, after all, is a marathon not a sprint.
I would also like to remind everyone that the individual that is in a relationship is not the only guilty party when it comes to infidelity. No … far from it – it takes two to tango and anybody that is willing to tango with an involved individual is, at least from my perspective, worse than the de facto, commonly defined cheater. Not only is this person guilty for disrespecting an often times unknown individual by having sex with his or her partner, this person is also to blame for tempting the cheater to begin with.
Please feel free to leave a comment on this posting if you disagree with me here. I mean, am I crazy? Am I the only one that feels this way? I doubt it. Why then is the world the way it is? Shouldn’t it be common sense that people shouldn’t behave like this?
And fine, I do realize that people fall out of love every day. A lot of the people that are involved in these encounters consider them justifiable due to something missing in their actual relationship. If that’s the case then why keep it secret? Nothing is stopping these people from breaking off their relationship prior to looking elsewhere for love; but no, that’s not an option. It’s better to continue the charade with the known entity and keep the new activities secret. That way they get to have their cake and eat it too. Damn the poor sap that is stupid enough to believe the lies – he (or she) doesn’t matter anyway. Right…?
bis später,
Coriolis
Many creatures on this planet do not stay faithful to one partner, Sure there are the turtle doves and a few other examples of monogamy, but animal kind as a whole are expressively unfaithful. I think the only reason mankind even brought the subject was probably Faith-based. I doubt it even came from a man. I assume the whole idea was brought up by a woman. Just my 2 cents... T-Cam
ReplyDeleteYeah, but that’s my whole point – human beings are supposed to be superior to other animals, right? Monkey’s like to throw shit at each other. You’re not suggesting that it’s perfectly acceptable for us to do that as well, are you? ;-)
ReplyDeleteAnd as for the faith-based birth of the monogamy principle – yeah, of course. I think it’s one of those silly commandments. In my opinion, as a staunch atheist, this is one of the few things that they got right.
Thanks for reading and I do appreciate your comment.
Coriolis
Not that it is acceptable for humans to be throwing their own shit, But I have seen children play with their own poo. Coloring on walls with it an such. My point is that there are some glaring similarities between animals humans and their basic nature. More than once I have watched nature shows and realized that we are not that far from other forms of life on this planet. I have come to the conclusion that we mask our primal urges to conform with what "society" has taught us to be wrong. Other forms of life are not bound by such inhibitions.
ReplyDeleteAs for you monogamy opinion I share your view... to a point. I believe that when it comes to child rearing A two parent system is beneficial to the child's development. But in a purely sexual light there are some people who are not interested in children and the animalistic sexual prowess they convey is in fact natural. Furthermore it should be considered acceptable. Again as a natural process I understand the opposite sexes attraction to these types. You see there are but a few "10's" when it comes to mates and the desire to have a 10 to be said persons mate is strong. Keep in mind that a 10 on the gene pool side is not the same as on the child rearing side. this is where I believe cheating comes into play. On the womans side. On the mans side I believe it is a little different. I believe every man wants to be the alpha male of the group. The womanizer we have all met, the pimp that gets all the chicks. We envy him. This being said if a man comes short of this he will jump on the chance to feel alpha for even a short period of time. hence cheating while in a committed relationship. One one hand is the natural want to be a provider for the ones he calls his family and the natural want to be the "stud" Like a prize bull. This is where the conflict comes into play. Both sides have different needs at different times and situations. Society just hasn't come to accept it.
I am tired and some of this may be hard to read because I tend to ramble without proper sentence structure, but that is just my way. Anyway goodnight internet world. Thats my 36 cents. T-Cam.
All of your points are valid as points; however, I’m not really arguing against any of this. Yes, it’s true that we, as men, all want to be that alpha male, prize bull. It is also true that, after reaching adulthood, we need to act as mature social entities. Children do stupid things all the time basically because they’re children. They have not yet learned how to behave properly in society and therefore behave however they naturally feel. It is the job of said children’s parents (or, to a disturbingly large amount these days, “parent”) to teach these children that this is not the way a person should be behaving. Children need to grow up…
ReplyDeleteAs for the similarities seen between various animals and humans; yeah, of course… Humans, after all, are animals. From what I have been taught, however, humans are supposed to be more intelligent than the rest of the animals – at least on this planet. However, upon witnessing the actions of these supposed “higher forms of life” for the last 37-plus years, I’m beginning to question that belief. One of my earlier articles covered this in more detail… This whole infidelity issue merely points out one more of our weaknesses.
As for the acceptability of the natural “animalistic sexual prowess” of those not interested in children, I’m afraid I’m going to have to somewhat disagree with you. It’s all well and good as long as both parties involved are on the same page. As long as neither is already involved in what is supposed to be a monogamous relationship with another (and I think that’s one of the main reasons behind marriage) then fine, they’re free to do whatever they want. If, however, either has promised faithfulness to another (and I’m not only speaking of marriage here) then, I believe, they need to be an adult and honor that commitment – whether they’re interested in children or not.
Therefore, a man cheating in order to feel like an alpha male is not a man at all. He is a child that needs to grow up.
Coriolis
You don't have to accept it. Just realize that it is natural for man to want to cheat and spread his seed as far as he can. It may not be right. And I don't condone it but it is there.
ReplyDeleteWell, of course it’s “there” … that’s what I’m on about. As far as the acceptability aspect, I was referring to your comment where you stated, and I quote, “But in a purely sexual light there are some people who are not interested in children and the animalistic sexual prowess they convey is in fact natural. Furthermore it should be considered acceptable.” I whole-heartedly disagree!
ReplyDeleteI do, however, want to once again thank you for your patronage and am intrigued by 38+ cents. It’s always a welcomed opportunity when I get the chance to interrogate your thought process a bit. You should consider taking a philosophy class of some sort – I think you would enjoy it.
Christ, all it takes is a little brain power, some control, and some foresight to see that you going to hurt the one that you love, and the one that loves you. People give up too easily, cave in to that instant gratification and then stand around with a sob story waiting for a soft shoulder to bless their stupidity.
ReplyDeleteSelfishness is a disease running rampant in this society, heck this world.
Excellant article my friend.
Peace to you,