It’s a bit
strange. I’ve been trying quite hard to
find a job once again doing what I was basically training to do for the first
23 years of my life … been damn near an entire year now. As I mentioned in earlier posts to this blog
that nobody reads, I wasn’t having much luck. Primarily due to the four-year hole that I put
in my resume – mid-life crisis delusion of grandeur … you know, same-ole
same-ole… In fact, just two days ago I
was still waiting to receive an email scheduling an initial phone interview
with a company down in San Diego. Never
received that email and, in fact, never had the phone interview that was
scheduled to have happened by no later than yesterday (“3-5 business days” from
when I got the initial email notification…).
I did, however, receive a phone call yesterday morning from a different
company – one of the other 90 or so companies that I had sent applications to. A couple calls yesterday, a few calls today
and “Viola!” I got a job.
Now, to be
completely honest here, what I currently have is a one-month contract (1099
work) that, if I am able to demonstrate my usefulness, will turn into a
full-time job with benefits. Their VP of
Engineering just wasn’t sold on hiring me directly full-time because of that
damn resume hole; however, I somehow convinced him to let me prove myself. I’m not too worried though, with some 20-years’
experience doing this work prior to my hiatus, I believe it’ll come back to me
in no time. I had no problem completing
the small contract job I picked up earlier this summer. No, I know what I’m doing. I’m sure I’ll be able to pitch-in…
Why then am I feeling such malaise? That is the question that I am currently
trying to figure out. I suppose it’s
most likely a combination of things. For
starters, I was actually beginning to look forward to doing the ‘Route 66’ trip
with my buddy. Spoke to him on the phone
today and found out that he, as well, was looking quite forward to the
adventure – said he’s been working long hours at a side-job in an effort to get
more money for the trip. Made me feel
bad to tell him that it was no longer scheduled to be happening.
I was also
looking quite forward to moving back to the old stomping grounds. Sure, I would have been moving back in with
my parents for some unknown amount of time and, truth be told, that’s actually
somewhat pathetic for a man my age; however, it would have given me the
opportunity to spend some more time with them while they’re still around –
nobody lives forever… That and I would
have been able to hang out with many of my old friends on a more frequent basis
than I get to when it’s only during trips back home around holidays.
I don’t know, seems to me that what I am
doing here is once again letting money become more important than life. We all (well, most of us at least…) seem to
do this for a large portion of our lives.
For most, though, the choice is a necessity. It costs quite a bit to raise a family these
days. I have no family to raise … never
even been married. My choice is far more
selfish – it’s merely to make sure that I can take care of myself financially
after retirement. From all the stories I’ve
read in the news, seems to me one can never have enough put aside to survive
retirement these days. We’re all just
rats in cages destined to be running on our hamster wheels until we drop
dead. Jobs of the olden days used to
provide people with pensions after they retired – those are, for the most part,
gone now … merely ideas that seem to only have been myths to today’s working
class. Sure, there’s Social Security –
for now – but what’s that get you? Will
it be enough to continually let you pay the consistently increasing rent for as
long as you need? I doubt it – that’s
kind of why IRAs and 401k’s exist – you’re most likely going to need more. And just exactly how much more is anyone’s
guess. That pretty much depends on how
long you end up living. Usually that’s an
unknown…
Oh well, que
sera, sera … I emailed the signed contract back for this job. Decision made. Right or wrong, I’m going to be starting work
Monday morning. I actually do think it’s
most likely what is best.
bis später,
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